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Cocktails

Brunch, Cocktails, Lunch, Salads, Sides

Watermelon Serrano Salad.

September 1, 2016

Here’s a fun confession:  I’m a terrible eater. I’ve taken to laughing and telling people to “eat as I cook, not as I eat” when they suggest that I must eat amazingly as I serve them what I’ve prepared. The truth is that while doing the shopping for them, I forget to shop for myself (or choose not to for various reasons including checkout line politeness and tax math).  As a result, I often wind up grabbing something as sustaining yet healthy as I can find from some grab-and-go section, or even sometimes rolling through McDonalds for a trusty #2 (no mustard, yellow mustard is the mustard of sociopaths) on my way to the job. That is if I even remember to eat, which doesn’t happen as often as any medical professional (or all-around reasonable person) would like. Eating before 2pm is a rare triumph that I celebrate by texting my friends who remind me that if I were normal I would be a hangry hellbeast like the rest of them. (Relevant side note: this doesn’t even elicit the culturally positive result of being “perfectly” skinny, so don’t go getting jealous of my un-mandated dietary restrictiveness.)

Preparing food requires a lot of tasting-as-you-go to check seasonings and mouthfeel, so hunger doesn’t often register until I’m back home, out of my chef clogs, and entirely unwilling to prepare something for myself that takes more than 10 minutes. This is why “family meal” exists in restaurants. You might say “enter: the sandwich, dingus!”, but I try not to keep bread around too often. That said, if there isn’t bread around, I’m probably not eating. If there is bread, I’m probably making a BLT. Every other 10-minute meal feels like a carb bomb that I don’t need late at night, or too light and healthy to put a dent in what is now a pit in my stomach as deep and dark as my abyss of a soul.

So, I’m making an effort to do some sort of meal prep. I can’t (read: won’t) do a giant cook-off for myself of things I can then portion into containers and store in the fridge because 1. I’m too fickle about cravings, 2. After 2 days that shit is just SADDDDDD, 3. After I’ve done giant cook-offs for clients I’m in no mood to do that again and not get paid for it, and 4. The ease of meal prep comes with ease of recipes, and I can’t just grill off a piece of chicken; it needs some interest and interest takes time. What I can easily do is make big batches of lettuce-free salads that get better with time and maceration.

Last week I made a huge batch of greek salad and was truly so proud of myself that I felt sure that I was on the road to my best life. I should bottle the juice that forms at the bottom of that bowl and mix it with vodka for a brunch shot; mimosas can take a seat.

This week I want to make a different salad I’ve been making for clients and bringing to pot lucks (hint hint holiday weekend!). It’s so simple, fairly unexpected, takes nearly no time to make, and a big batch of the dressing works well with almost any summer salad that incorporates fruit (I also use it on a salad with nectarines, balsamic caramelized cippolini onions and hazelnuts). Bonus point: you can use the juice that gathers at the bottom to make a yummy little tequila cocktail or shot chaser!

Watermelon Serrano 1-2
1. Pick up two of the same size and always choose the heavier one. I tend to pick up between 5-7 for comparison but I’m the most anal retentive produce shopper you’ll likely see in the grocery store.2. Look for one that has a bright yellow patch. This means the melon wasn’t moved much during growth, letting the flavors really concentrate.
3. Seedless is important, save the seeded watermelons for the kiddos, they love to have spitting contests.
4. If you’re unsure between two watermelons, knock on them like you would a door. The one that sounds the densest is the one to go with.

Watermelon Serrano 1

[recipe id=”622″]

Cocktails

Cilantro Margarita.

May 4, 2016

Happy Cinco de Drinko dudes!

In honor of the holiday, I’m going to ask you guys to mix up this festive AF cocktail for yourself, your WOE’s, and an extra one for me because this WOE is werk werk werk werk werk until Sunday night!

There are two drinks in this world that I have taken a sip of and immediately known that I’ve just sprouted a lifelong memory, and this is one of them. I had it at the Restaurant bar at Condesa DF in Mexico City*, at sunset after a long day walking around the city tasting and smelling and feeling as much as I could with a dear friend (and maybe scoring some crappy weed off of a restaurant valet outside of a 7-11). It was refreshing and light, and gave me the exact boost I needed to shake off the daytime dust and head into the night, where a mescal tasting between friends awaited on the roofdeck. I am notoriously crappy at carrying my day drinking past sunset – I usually decide I need a “quick nap” which turns into a 3-hour nap followed by a desperate shower followed by admission of defeat followed by a planet earth marathon – and this is the only drink that has ever handily brought me back to life. And it’s simple simple simple.  So, wazz it up in your blender, serve it up next to whoever is touting their “famous” guacamole recipe this month (I think it’s Jack White), or my own Shrimp Tacos, and get weird!

Cilantro Marg 2

 

* If you ever find yourself in Mexico city, I cannot recommend this hotel enough!  It’s situated in the coolest part of the city for the 25+ set (read: fun and chic without the tomfoolery of the recently-legal set) has an amazing 1960’s modern architectural style, and sports an open air rotunda throughout, making the first floor bar at once cozy and open.

[recipe id=”571″]

Cocktails

The Sandy Sip.

September 3, 2015

I was in New York during hurricane Sandy (what a womp womp of a first sentence). I honestly had no idea it was a thing until the day before, when I got a frantic text from Babs asking if I was prepared and did I have food in the apartment and lots of candles and matches and had I filled the tub up so Toby had water to drink and was my stove gas or electric and ALL THE ALARMIST THINGS that have earned Babs the moniker “Worst-Case-Scenario-Wendy”. 

Feeling mildly concerned but also flippant given the news’ propensity for hyperbole when it comes to weather, I begrudgingly threw my saddlebags onto my bike (her name was Ozma and I miss her dearly), and headed to Mr. Pina. l bought a bunch of nonsensical nonsense as one is wont to do when they don’t make a list and are really just tryna not make their mamas anxiety any worse than baseline, and headed home.

On the way home there was a lovely little wine shop called D.O.C. that had bunches of pretty bottles full of delicious things and so, just as it started to rain, I sauntered through the doorway in search of some hurricane festive rum.  The shopkeep pointed me back past the barrel tables of wine, over the worn persian rugs to the rum shelf, and thank GAWD he did because for the next FIVE DAYZZZZ I was stuck in my apartment re-arranging furniture, wondering how I avoided destruction being situated a short block from evac zone 1, waiting for my flooded office to re-open.

From my boredom, however, was born my favorite end-of-summer cocktail, the Sandy Sip.

Peep it.

[recipe id=”81″]